Neffenger to head TSA, nothing will change

The Senate has confirmed a longtime Coast Guard officer, Vice Admiral Peter Neffenger, to serve as the director of the so-called Transportation Security Administration. The change has no meaning or significance of any kind, and will do nothing to anything anywhere, at all, ever. The TSA status quo will continue to status quo itself, status quoistically.

If you doubt that in any way, take a few minutes to watch the opening statement Neffenger recited at his pathetic confirmation hearing. Among the highlights:

“Workforce training, retention and accountability are a second challenge facing TSA. If confirmed, I will pay close attention to the development of the TSA workforce. I will examine how to use the TSA academy established by John Pistole to further improve performance and to instill an ever greater sense of pride in the agency and the critically important mission. I will continue to focus on customer service.”


“I will commit myself to ensuring that TSA employs multilayered intelligence operations. That TSA recruits and retains a highly skilled workforce while placing a premium on professional values.”

He’s going to further improve performance at the agency where security officers fail 67 security tests out of 70.

He’s going to instill a greater sense of pride and professionalism in the government organization that deliberately triggered false alarms so an “officer” could provide unwanted crotch massage to hot guys, and where the press office amuses itself by taking photographs showing the private, lawful contents of passenger luggage and posting them to social media.

He’s going to focus on retaining a highly skilled workforce at the agency that remains a GED-optional employer of last resort.

And, of course, he’s going to maintain the TSA‘s laser focus on customer service.

Peter Neffenger appears to be out of his fricking mind, and the TSA is going to absorb him like an ocean eating a drop of water. They’ll wheel out his dessicated husk from time to time to read prepared comments, then wheel him back into his carrying case and snap the latch firmly shut. Our warmest thanks to the United States Senate for the thoughtfulness and care that went into the evaluation of this important nominee.