TSA: Morons on Parade Episode 3,867

A recent tweet, brought to you by the brilliant minds of the TSA:

Agent [email protected]Apr 14


There you have it — you’re making a heroic sacrifice for freedom!

Don’t you feel better already?

(Okay, the tweet is technically satirical, but it reads exactly like something the TSA would say. They say stupid shit all the time. Read on.)

This tweet was in response to the fact that thousands of people all over the country are missing their flights because the security lines are so long. But hey, all you have to do is arrive earlier. Then, when you’re all massed together at the checkpoint like sitting ducks, you can feel secure that if a bomb goes off there, the dead won’t be as dead as if it goes off on a plane, because — well, logic!

Keep flying, people. Keep rewarding the airlines and keep putting up with this abuse. After all, what do you have to lose?

  • Joey Bach

    Someone among those people who missed flights after checking in properly needs to sue the TSA! They failed to provide the service in an appropriate time frame. They at the minimum should be paying for your flight that you missed and the next flight that you will take. This is the only way to make a organization responsible.

    The organization violated the constitution when it prevented those who missed flights!

    Two suits should be filed — an individual suit and a class action suit — if the class action suit is allowed to move forward then the individual suit can be dismissed. The other option is to provide a cookie cutter lawsuit with instructions on how to modify it and let the thousands of people who missed flights submit those lawsuits.

    • Unfortunately, everybody who has tried to sue the TSA has lost. The TSA is above the law. As for Constitutional rights — ha! That horse left the barn long ago.

      • Joey Bach

        My brain was not thinking fully about the Constitution issue. I believe there is also an international treaty that the US have ratified concerning movement — this would also be an avenue to address in the lawsuit.

        I also think this lawsuit(s) also needs to address the timing issue (showing up at the required time prior to a flight) and not having the proper procedures in place to ensure those who show up do get on their flight even if that flight is somewhat delayed.

        So the lawsuit should (a) potentially allow for compensation for those that missed their flights and (b) enact new changes that prevent this from happening and if it does happen that proper compensation is provided. Also this compensation needs to be not an additional budget item for the TSA but part of the current budget and/or future capital plans.

        If planes are flying, the TSA needs to get people on those planes. No excuses for weather or other catastrophe’s apply.

        • Dolt

          Go for it.

        • TestJeff Pierce

          1) The TSA is following administrative rules, which the courts have not allowed anyone to sue on constitutional grounds, and if a passenger is not early enough and misses a plane, it is not a liability borne by the TSA. The same analagous situation applies when passengers miss flights due to weather and incur financial loss such as a hotel night they can’t refund at their destination. The planes are not liable for those damages.
          2) But, it doesn’t matter, since the GeTSApo is above our laws.
          3) The Stacey Amato suit was settled because the lawyer (who Freedom To Travel USA, and me specifically) we spoke to took over a year to get an Appeals Court Judge to hold the TSA employee liable under something called the “federal tort exemption”. The federal tort exemption indemnifies employees of the government from being sued if they have reasonable cause to think the performance of their job is legal. In Amato’s case, the lawyer got the individual TSA agent identified as an ‘officer’ which meant she could be individually sued. When he got that ruling, the TSA settled.
          4) The same day the Amato case was settled legally, another Appeals Court in another case ruled the TSA agent in that case could not be individually sued (it was a Pennsylvania case).

          The short conclusion is suing the TSA is near impossible.

          • Joey Bach

            Thanks TestJeff for the information.

            This is from the “horses” mouth —

            How early should I arrive to the airport prior to my flights departure?

            You are encouraged to arrive at the airport two hours prior to flight departure for domestic travel and three hours for international travel. This allows time for parking and shuttle transportation, airline check-in, obtaining a boarding pass, and going through the security screening process, which includes screening of your carry-on baggage.

            You are encouraged to contact your airline as times may vary depending on the airport and date of travel.


            This is the standard the Government lists and therefore it should be held liable for not meeting it — this is fairly simple. The next phase would be to determine what treaty(s) and elements of the constitution that this does violate.


            The big question is what constitutes arriving at the airport.
            a) is it making it onto the airport’s property?
            b) is it parking your car/vehicle/stepping off public transit or a taxi?
            c) is it arriving at the line-up for the airlines check-in?
            d) is it actually checking in?
            e) is it showing up to the security screening line-up?

            The only thing is to actually document to the best of your ability all these points… this is where you can add FACTs to the lawsuit.

          • TestJeff Pierce

            My final comment on this is that the TSA is only subject to Appeals Court lawsuits (no Discovery allowed) by most standards (i.e no constitutional rights are in effect like for most every other situation) . The alternative is Administrative hearings following TSA rules. You can appeal an administrative hearing to an Appeals court.

            Net/net: There is no contractual obligation by the TSA to deliver any type of screening in any kind of timeframe.

            There is no contract law that will support otherwise, so this is not an avenue for a lawsuit.

          • Joey Bach

            I just read looked somewhere on the web where it says that a suit not against the organization but against an employee their individual capacity. This may get you out of the appeals court loop.

            Considering you pay a fee for security screening ($5.60) for a one way trip in the continental us then it would surmise that the fee should be refundable if they fail to provide that screening in a timely fashion to ensure that you connect with your original flight. This would be a starting place. — Simple complaint for relief to the TSA. I know $5.60 is not a lot but it would cost them a lot to actually process that for even a flight’s worth of passengers.

            If the complaint is denied, then the soul-sucking process of a federal lawsuit would be necessary. The big thing is who do you get to name in that lawsuit?

          • Search the names “Sai” or “Wendy Thomson” or “Aaron Tobey” or “Pete Alexion” or “Jon Corbett” or “John Brennan” here for posts about how difficult if not impossible it is to sue.

            And to repeat something I’ve said about a thousand times: Lawsuits are expensive, time consuming, and soul sucking. And expensive. And did I mention expensive? Most people can’t afford to sue. Being abused and then told, “Oh, but you can sue!” is cold comfort.

          • Daisiemae

            And TSA has unlimited tax dollars to defend their ability to abuse the public who are paying for the privilege of being abused.

            (Notice I did not say “right” to abuse.)

          • Joey Bach

            Thank you Lisa… I am aware of Sai, Mr. Tobey, Mr. Brennan and Mr. Corbett’s work. I do know about their difficulties.

            It is sad to hear that there is no easy way to resolve these issues.

      • Joey Bach

        How about the $75000 settlement for the breast milk incident at Sky Harbor airport? Is that not a win?

        I know the cynical side would say it is not since the abuse has continued.

        • No, it’s not a win, because women are still experiencing the same abuse that that settlement was supposed to stop. I just wrote about another incident here the other day. That’s not cynicism; that’s cold, hard fact.

          • Joey Bach

            I agree. The only way to defeat this behavior is to start having multiple people including the mother film the encounters as a way of auditing the system. This avoids the issue of having “The TSA word” rule. Audio and video recording are necessary.

            If procedures are not followed, then the recordings must be provided to the media and all members of Congress (both Senate and House).

            Last but not least, it is important to use the 1st amendment — the ability to seek redress. This redress must include call flooding not just the TSA but all members of congress and the judiciary — all federal and higher courts. Call flooding the media who are not covering the incident is important as well.

          • And then we have this, brought to you by the United Morons of America. This is what irrational fear, stupidity, and rank ignorance hath wrought:

            College Student Is Removed From Flight After Speaking Arabic on Plane


          • Joey Bach

            Even though he just wants an apology, I think Southwest needs to reach out with more compensation then just the refund. He was delayed 8 hours and this delay as well as the rights violations should be another amount. His time with any law enforcement should provide him with tax credits to apply to his income taxes whenever he chooses.

        • RB

          Late to the discussion but I only remember two settlements, Amato and Bierfeldt, where TSA never admitted any wrongdoing. TSA not admitting wrongdoing is to my way of thinking no win!

          TSA has unlimited resources that most people can’t match making the legal process very uncertain in the best of circumstances.

  • Jadeveon Clowney

    This would be believable even if it weren’t satire. Look at how the TSA is telling people to arrive at least two hours early for domestic flights. I personally know people who arrived plenty early, yet still missed their flights because of TSA stupidity.

    • I know such people, too. Most recently, someone who shall remain nameless. He and his party had to sprint through the airport and barely made their flight on time. This was purely discretionary travel, not for work or medical reasons. No sympathy.