The event is diplomatically called a news conference, where Pistole will “explain what travelers should expect for the upcoming busy holiday season to travel safely through the nation’s airports” and “will also highlight what security screening procedures have changed for passengers in the last year.”
Translation: it’s the annual show-and-tell where he pretends to tell you how you can avoid being bullied, harassed, robbed, assaulted, or otherwise abused by his minions.
He might have a hard time explaining those procedures to Maggie Buckenmayer and people like her. Then again, that would only be if members of the credulous press would ask him more hard-hitting questions than, “can we bring snow globes this year?”
But wait, there’s more: TSA “officers” will be there as well, “to demonstrate how best to pack a carry-on bag.” Think they might address the little problem of theft?
Our brave men and women in blue will also “showcase some weapons that have been caught at DCA checkpoints.” This is my favorite part of TSA show-and-tell. In case you’ve missed it, it’s a regular feature of the TSA Blog, wherein “Blogger Bob” and friends brag about all the nifty items they’ve confiscated from forgetful passengers. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!
If you can stomach this display, go to the Upper Ticketing Level of Reagan National, Door 6 (that alone makes it sound exciting — like guessing What’s Behind That Door). Again, that’s Tuesday, November 13th, at 9:30 am. Oh, and be sure to tell TSA PR person Lisa Farbstein that you’re coming: Lisa.Farbstein@dhs.gov . After all, it’s only polite to RSVP.