TSA agent Tiffany Applewhite touched my genitalia

And my breasts. She’s a TSA “team leader” at the Delta TSA checkpoint at LAX. I had to ask her for her first name because her nametag only says “Applewhite” and “team leader.” 

There is not a shred of probable cause to search me at the airport because there is no reason to believe I am anything but what I am — an advice columnist, author, and blogger flying with my boyfriend to New York, where I’ll have a business meeting and go with him to some events honoring his boss, Elmore Leonard. But in order to complete normal business travel, I have my body violated just about every time I take a plane.

I had my breasts and vulva and the rest of my body groped by Tiffany Applewhite, a tall, light-skinned black woman with tight-permed hair. She asked me if there were any sore areas on my body. Hmmm . . . maybe the gropenfrau would take it easier if I said so. So I said my breasts and vagina. She said she’d be gentle in those areas and only use the back of her hand. Well, that makes it all fine, then, doesn’t it?

She instructed me at one point in how to lean over so she could correctly violate me in the name of “security.” I didn’t do it quite right — partly because I was being violated at around 5 o’clock in the morning, and partly because I’ve never been in prison.

Oh, and they again used the punishment and intimidation factor of making you worry your stuff is going to be stolen if you get the patdown — leaving your belongings out on the x-ray belt unguarded. They just “don’t have personnel to watch it,” they told me — as, in fact, they always claim. Yet they can spend billions on useless machinery.

“You chose the patdown,” another TSA agent who chose it for me added (when he told me to go through the cooker instead of the metal detector).

Read any George Orwell, you loser? You scumbag earning money for violating people’s bodies and rights?

Caught any terrorists lately — or EVER?

Of course not, because the TSA has not caught a single terrorist, ever.

Beyond the fact that the problems we had on 9/11 were due to our not expecting terrorists to perform suicide missions, the TSA is staffed by untrained robots on track to get a government pension. These people couldn’t catch Al Zawahiri if he crawled up their ass and whistled.

They have, however, stopped some really good pot from reaching its destination and being smoked. (Not that they have the right to do that, either.)

The TSA is a jobs program for unskilled workers and a way for government swells to funnel money to their friends who own the companies that make the scanners and other equipment useless in catching terrorists. (Jonathan Corbett showed how absolutely child’s play it was to defeat the body scanners.)

And ultimately, as I wrote in my op-ed about the TSA, this is about obedience training for the American public — teaching us to be docile as our rights are taken from us.

I cried as I was screened and told them they were horrible for violating our rights. I will at least make a spectacle of myself and in turn of what they’re doing.

Don’t go quietly, please. And name names of those who violate you — post their name and a picture of them if you can find or take it. (To avoid a libel suit, be absolutely sure it’s the right person — there are a number of Tiffany Applewhites, and most of them are regular people who don’t appear to grope people’s genitals for a living.)

If more people screamed and yelled and protested in some way, we might be able to make some change. In so many ways lately, our constitutional rights are being eroded. Keeping quiet will not end well for any of us.

  • Thanks for sharing, Amy. Cockroaches hate it when you turn on the light.

  • Crusso

    “…the problems we had on 9/11…” Seriously? That’s how you describe an enemy attack on American soil in which 3000 people were murdered? A problem! Glad they humiliated you, you moron.

    • Actually, Amy did an admirable job of describing exactly why the 9/11 attacks were successful – and it wasn’t because we failed to sexually assault innocent women at airport checkpoints. 9/11 happened because the U.S. government ordered all pilots to cooperate with all hijackers. End of story. Now that pilots don’t cooperate, such an attack is utterly impossible.

      No matter what you’d like to believe, hiring filthy perverts to grab the labia and breasts of every woman who buys an airplane ticket has absolutely nothing to do with preventing terrorism. I think the moron here goes by the handle “Crusso”.

    • LeeAnneClark

      Amy, a “moron”? To quote Indigo Montoya…I do not think that word means what you think it means.

      Seems to me, to find out what it means, you can just look in the mirror.

      Actually, I think better words that would fit in your case would be “sadistic monster”. Yep, that would be the right term to describe someone who would feel GLAD that an innocent woman would be humiliated and sexually molested by strangers for nothing more than boarding a flight.

      I lost people on 9/11. Did YOU, “Crusso”? I lost a cousin and a co-worker. I believe that qualifies me to speak about whether or not Amy’s references to 9/11 were appropriate. Sorry you didn’t like the word “problem.” But it seems to me the issue here is more your lack of understanding of the English language, as the word “problem”, while perhaps not as strong as you would like, is still accurate. “Problems” come in varying shapes, sizes and severities.

      The tragic problems we experienced on 9/11 lead to over 3000 deaths of innocent Americans. Fortunately, those problems no longer exists, as a repeat of those circumstances cannot happen again now that we have a) reinforced cockpit doors and b) an enlightened populace who will never let a few dudes with sharp implements take over a plane.

      In the meantime, want to tell us again how you find such joy in hearing about innocent women having their genitals touched by strangers?

      On second thought, I think I found the best words of all to describe you: “loathsome misogynistic pervert”.

      • Daisiemae

        You go, girl!

      • Need I remind everyone that ‘9/11’ is a sacred holiday for U.S. cowards, sadists, and sadistic cowards? Sure, some folks lost some loved ones, and that puts things into a different perspective for them. All the alternate or simultaneous cringing and chest-thumping is a bit much, though.

        • LeeAnneClark

          Agreed. I made a couple of edits to my post above to make it clear that it was directed at “Crusso”, not Amy.

          Crusso is apparently one of those people who bows at the alter of 9/11 and believes that because of that horrible day, we should give up all of our civil liberties and let government thugs probe our privates. And something tells me he’d love to be one of those thugs pinching innocent women’s breasts while claiming he’s “keeping them safe from another 9/11”.

          I’m someone who DID lose loved ones on that horrible day, but I still do not see any validity for all the hand-wringing and body-orifice probing.

    • If you want to see what a real enemy attack on American soil looks like, come on out to Pearl Harbor and have a look at the incredible exhibits and the wreck of the Arizona. Makes 9/11 look like a “problem.”

    • 1amwendy

      Well, let me see: your solution to “an enemy attack” is to attack the people who were attacked in the first place. Man, if that isn’t the most brilliant thinking on the planet. sarc. Do you also go and kick the dog when you get home because you had a bad day? Do you not seem to notice that more people have been killed on the highways in the last eleven years because they will not go through the TSA horse manure (ref: U of Chicago study) than were killed on 9/11 in the first place? So I guess some deaths more important than others? Get a grip, man. Applied logic on your part would be oh-so-refreshing. Just sayin’.

    • I’m British. My parents lived through WWII, and I assure you, many more than 3,000 Britons died due to bombings of their cities, including schools, churches, and people’s houses. Every morning, they went to the devastated sites, hauled away the dead, swept up, and then went to work. Many, like my grandmother, grew vegetable gardens in order to eat a little better than the average family, because foodstuffs were strictly rationed.

      Yet despite the incredible number of casualties and the widespread destruction to our buildings and bridges and roads, no British policemen (or anyone) stopped people at the train stations, airports, and sea ports and searched their bodies, groped their genitalia and breasts, or looked down their pants.

      That would be the Nazis’ tactics, not ours.

      You, Mr./Ms. Crusso, are a boot-licking, subservient fool, or else a fascist. May you one day regret your full-throated support of the nascent fascism in America. In fact, it’s likely you will. Too late.

    • Frank

      When a new example of “idiot” is needed, I’ll direct them to your post.

  • It gets worse. In a recently conducted national poll, 1/3 of Americans said they would be in favor of cavity searches to board an airplane. No, I’m not kidding. (Frankly, I’m surprised it’s not more than 1/3). Am just about to do a post on it.