Attack of the killer mushrooms

Since mushrooms kill more people in this country than does terrorism, perhaps we should have TSA types guarding forests and woodlands, and scanning and groping us all before we enter our kitchens. Maybe they could have specially designed uniforms with a nifty logo. Whaddya think?

(Photo: Bob Jenkins/Flickr Creative Commons)

  • Vec14

    How about a common sense approach – like don’t eat mushrooms that don’t come from a grocery store? Sort of like going back to metal detectors… Seriously though, I am a mycologist (study mushrooms and fungi) and I know the mushroom (Amanita) in question. There are poisonings every couple of years and not just from Amanita – ID is very tricky and I know many mycologists who are fairly good at IDing mushrooms but wouldn’t bet their life on it.

  • RB

    Why don’t we have TSA Mushroom Forest Guards sample suspect mushroom? Wouldn’t that ensure the public’s safety more than what today’s TSA is doing?

    • Daisiemae

      Yes! Random sampling! I’d pay extra tax dollars for that.

  • I don’t know if they did this year (the thought of even looking nauseates me) but LAST year at Thanksgiving time DHS was posting notices about the dangers of turkey fryers – basically burning up taxpayer $$$ for advising us about extremely rare cooking accidents.

    Makes me wonder how this country managed to function without the likes of DHS and TSA for well over 200 years.

  • Saladin

    peanut farms also need close scrutiny!

  • 1amWendy

    LOL close to my idea: cretins guarding the doors of all grocery stores and farmer’s markets. Confiscation of all fresh produce, meat, eggs and peanut butter… add to that list any other food item that gets recalled (guarding against yesterday’s attacks, don’t you know). After all, any of those things just may contain e-coli or salmonellla. You never know. Better to be safe than sorry. [feel free to add any additional inane platitude here].

    • anc1entmar1ner

      How about

      “If you don’t like it then stop eating!”

      • Daisiemae

        Don’t you know that eating is a privilege!

    • More people are killed while at grocery stores than are killed by terrorists…witness the AZ attack, to name one that was known.

  • These corpulent TSA agents often resemble mushrooms, so maybe they don’t even need a new logo. What some of them need is a fitness program and a healthy eating plan. But don’t get me wrong – I’m just as disgusted by the thought of a skinny person sexually assaulting me as a fat one, so I don’t discriminate. All TSA employees are filthy molesters.

  • Why not? I’ve seen them do more absurd things.