Friend of the blog NJR, about whom I wrote on December 18th, is on a roll.
This guy is hilarious (in a good way, not in the way that the TSA is hilarious). And because he’s a former screener, he has more authority when it comes to telling you what we critics have been telling you for years, which is fine by me. Whatever it takes to get through to the masses.
So here for your delectation are a few excerpts from some of his recent posts. You may laugh, you may cry, you may wince, you may shudder. But whatever you do, I hope you’ll be entertained.
I’m not sure that it was a weaponized chastity belt that I saw on the official TSA blog earlier this evening (a link to the official TSA blog was emailed to me by a very smart reader, thank you) but in general, that sums up what it is you’re doing with that silly blog of yours: bragging about goddamned weaponized chastity belts.
Taxpayers are funding a person to sit at a computer and write words such as “we found a chastity belt! Ha ha! Look at us!” (“And we found it with your billions of dollars, mounting privacy concessions, and good faith willingness to put your toddlers in our ineffective radiation machines a couple years back!”)
Truly, hats off.
This is TSA we’re talking about, people. Most everything is inconsistent, senseless, chaotic, and rationality-deficient, so any one thing that happens on a checkpoint at any given time usually has absolutely no connection to anything resembling a deeply satisfying explanation. Oh, the “officers” may appear all official and industrious in their faux police officer uniforms and impersonator badges, but really, behind it all, it’s just a big, dumb jumble.
Here’s how it actually works, from a former TSA officer: we mindlessly go around just doing things, and owing to the sheer number of mindless procedures and empty, senseless rules, it all becomes white noise . . . It is essentially a cacophony of million-and-billion-dollar gadgetry crying wolf all day and night, with hardly anything being even theoretically accomplished, besides hassling the people we are supposedly protecting.
. . . And to wrap it all up, with the final word on whether or not the TSA is going to ruin Disney World for America, is Aaron, who writes in:
What’s your take on this?
I don’t like the looks of it, personally. My questions are 1.Will we be stopped for inspection any time we leave the house? 2.Will they want an “Enhanced VIPR” through which they can enter our houses and test us at any time? 3. Where does it end? And 4. How does it fit into the “Transportation” aspect of TSA?
1. You will only be stopped on a random basis when leaving the house by 2020.
3. Not Disney World, I’ll tell you that.
4. Amusement park rides and running backs are sort of transportation-ish. They’ll make it fit.
NJR, we love you.
(Photo: terren in Virginia/Flickr Creative Commons)