Frank Hannibal sues TSA for $5 million

by Lisa Simeone on February 10, 2013

CrazyRichard'sNatPeanutButter
Good for him.

Though most of us can’t afford to bring suit against this worthless agency, some people can.

Such as 50-year-old Frank Hannibal. He was jailed — yes, jailed — because he made a crack about the tin-badge tinpot tyrants trying to confiscate his Super Scary Terroristy Peanut Butter.

As usual, you can’t make this stuff up.

“It sounds laughable now but at the time to be led out of there like a terrorist was unbelievable,” Hannibal tells the Daily News. “My whole life was up in the air. It was a nightmare. My children were overwhelmed. It was crazy.”

But surely there’s more going on here than meets the eye? Surely our brave blue-shirted knights were onto something? Of course! They noticed a Scary Separation:

Hannibal’s troubles began when a TSA agent questioned him about his jar of “Crazy Richard’s Natural Peanut Butter,” a spread sold at supermarkets across the country and marketed by Ohio’s Krema Products Company. Speaking to the paper, Hannibal says the TSA agent appeared confused by the natural separation of oil inside the jar of peanut butter, which retails typically at around $7 a pop.

“The liquid oil that separated from the peanut butter had them baffled,” he says.

Things only went south from there. Because remember: under no circumstances is humor allowed. Humor is dangerous! Humor helps The Terrorists! If you employ humor, you obviously Hate America!

. . . instead of ditching the food or explaining the science behind preservation, Hannibal admits to cracking a joke when an agent analyzed the jar.

“They’re looking to confiscate my explosives,” Hannibal sarcastically told his wife and twin 6-year-old daughters, according to court papers obtained by the Daily News. But although the comment wasn’t met for anyone other than his family, Hannibal says it garnered the attention of a nearby agent.

Moments later, Hannibal was cuffed and on his way to a holding cell. There he spent 25 hours in lockup . . . .

Let’s see — how do you say in English? This country has lost its effing mind.

Every person who defends the TSA and its abusive, moronic, certifiably insane procedures deserves what he gets. And I do hope he or she gets it.

Right on, Frank Hannibal. If you need a contribution to your legal defense fund, many of us are happy to help. As we did with Yukari Miyamae, Andrea Abbott, John Tyner, Carol Jean Price, and others.

Oh, and for a real thrill, take a look at all the sheep bleating in the comments section of the New York Daily News article. Just bend over and spread ‘em, people, why don’t you?

Previous post:

Next post: